The Cornerstone of Relationships
The Law of Attraction has become such a popular concept for manifesting success that people all around the world have attempted to master it for their needs.
Yet alarming so, many people have a misunderstanding of how the Law of Attraction really works. Some people believe that sitting on their couch for hours a day thinking about what they want will get them results in the physical equivalent…
Without proper application, you’ll find that it doesn’t work. It may even have been better if you hadn’t come across it.
Let’s take a quick look at what the Law of Attraction is, how to apply the law of attraction and later on how we can harness this principle to manifest love, happiness and abundance in our relationships.
Stop Wanting, Start Getting
1. Positive manifestation is about focusing on what you want instead of the fact that you want it.
The distinction here is quite important because each focus will bring about two drastically different results.
If your focus is on the dream and achieving that dream, your positive attitudes and believes will influence your subconscious mind to look for ways to get it. Positive manifestation will begin to take root in your life.
However if you focus only on the fact that you want something, you are likely to see a lack in everywhere and often question why you aren’t getting what you want. The difference is a willingness to toil for the dream and the other is a sense of entitlement.
Quick test. When you look at the picture above what are the feelings and emotions that run through your head?
Why isn’t that me?
They’re so lucky to have found love, why can’t I do that too?
I wish that could be me…
When will it be my turn?
I wish I had someone, I would do anything for him/her.
If any of this (or something similar) was going through your head, notice that they are ALL limiting thoughts.
- Stop looking at our couples’ relationships on social media and wondering why that isn’t you. Comparison is the thief of joy.
- Quit fantasizing all day about your dream relationship and how it will all play out.
- Don’t even tell yourself how much you want a partner and that you’ll do anything for the person even especially when you don’t even have a prospective partner yet. (I’ve seen a lot of this on Instagram and Facebook, it’s kinda sad but also reveals a deep insecurity)
Chances are, people who do this constantly are more in love with the idea of a relationship rather than the actual relationship in the first place.
2. Focus on your desired outcome and immerse yourself in the mental frame that you are already going to achieve it.
When you are fully locked in on the goal, you will not linger too much on the difficulties you encounter along the way or the fact that you’re not yet at the destination. Nothing stops you from reaching the dream.
3. Change starts with you.
This is a journey of personal transformation. You can’t achieve greatness doing exactly what you’re doing right now. Your dream must transform you into a different, better person that can achieve that goal.
Here’s where most people get it wrong. They believe they can stay the same and get exceptional results through some trick, hack or secret that they can purchase online. The simple fact is that they’re too lazy to change.
Manifestation in Relationships
Now think about how this applies to your relationships. Are you focusing on working towards, or only on wanting something?
Have you ever looked at “gifted” individuals, brimming with self-confidence and charisma who never lacked a line of ready suitors and thought to yourself, why is the world so unfair?
Take a closer look and you’ll see that what you’ve actually been doing is applying the Law of Attraction without evening knowing it – but in a way that is detrimental to your own goals.
The Slippery Slope of Desperation
Have you every wondered (or felt exasperated) why the more we want something, the further from us it gets?
Be it money, power, or relationships…
We’ve seen it in movies before, there’s always that one guy who will never get out of the “friendzone”:
- Guy wants girl, so he does crazy things to try and get her.
- Girl see’s how desperate he is and is instantly repelled.
- The cycle of failure repeats
This in turn serves to fuel his desperation even more – trapping him in a spiral of grief and low self-esteem. It’s a slippery slope to bottom…
Wanting something too much makes you focus on your lack of it, which is something that many lonely people do. The constant obsessing on “why can’t I find true love” evokes anguish and which drives them to desperation.
They’re so obsessed with the idea of “being in love” that they neglect other important aspects such as their own self-respect, dignity and even moral values.
A common line I’ve seen from people like these is:
“I loved him/her so much, I gave him/her everything, even willing to sacrifice my all… why doesn’t he/she love me back?“.
People can sense desperation in others and it drives them away. Especially so in relationships – no one likes a partner who’s overly obsessive and too eager to please at every moment.
They want someone they can have mutual respect and understanding with.
Love Begins With with Self-Acceptance
Let me set the stage right now. The degree of your self-respect will dictate the quality of your relationship.
Self-esteem and respect for yourself are important qualities that should never be compromised in a relationship. If you try to manifest a relationship out of desperation, it isn’t likely to work out well for you. Self-love affirmations are a good way to boost your confidence and improve your outlook of your own abilities and attitude towards life.
Desperate people who neglect their own self-image and dignity are indirectly making themselves unlovable – they very opposite of what anyone wants in a potential partner.
Improving your own self-esteem, thoughts and believes will help you to attract a suitable partner, or improve your current relationships.
People who are happy, self-sufficient and optimistic about life and relationships are attracted to the same kind of people.
Here’s how you can do it and start to manifest positive relationships in your life.
1) Be Grateful for the Relationships You Have
Gratitude is the beginning of all positive thinking.
Often in our society we are influenced to criticize and complain about everything wrong in our lives. So much so that it has become common behavior for us. Unknowingly, this negative disposition has pervasive effects on our reality.
But when we start to look for things to be grateful for, our disposition shifts from that of criticism and displeasure to one of optimism and thankfulness – kicking off a series of positive thought chains.
And the truth is, there are so many things that we have to be thankful for.
We are never truly alone. There are relationships that we too should cherish and make the most of.
Friends that we are close to or can depend on.
A loving family and supportive parents.
And not forgetting… a positive relationship with yourself.
Gratitude is giving appreciation for the things that have helped in your life, and to give thanks for these relationships instead of taking them for granted.
2) Suspend Judgement Of Others
The one thing which blocks us from building new meaningful relationships is being judgmental of others.
It’s good to have strong believes and values that guide our actions, but imposing them on others and expecting them to following exactly what we believe is not feasible – and frankly, quite close minded.
Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First StoneJohn 8:7
Keep on open mind to new relationships and focus on building feelings of happiness for both parties instead of being overly judgmental in our thoughts.
3) Respect Your Own Self-Worth
I’ve seen it all before, misguided individuals who try to fulfill every whim and fancy of their partners at the cost of their own self-image and at times, dignity.
Many of them do this because they perceive themselves to be of a “lower” standard then their partners and are trying to act in a way to make up for that void.
The answer lies not in making up with placating actions, but rather in recognizing and building up a positive image of yourself.
Nobody deserves a partner that consistently puts them down and disrespects them. In fact, this is the pinnacle of abusive relationships. Learn to say no, and re-assert your own worth.
This is important because if you do not respect your own self-image, then you will tend to act in a way that eliminates the respect others have for you as well.
We humans tend to sell ourselves short. Oftentimes we have the potential to achieve much more than we believe we are capable of.
4) Trust and Expectations
Unrealistic expectations kill relationships.
The statistic doesn’t lie. The most common cause of breakups is due to unmet expectations.
We all have expectations of how our desired relationship should be, which is perfectly normal. It’s important to have standards for ourselves. Basic expectations such as fidelity and trust are a definite criteria for a prospective partner.
Here’s where it falls short…
When we start to impose more and more expectations on our partner, so much so that it becomes intrusive to their lives and expect them to go out of the way to meet all our expectations… That’s where we need to take a step back and re-assess the whole situation.
It takes strength, and a lot of courage to not be so demanding and needy in a relationship.
In fact if one person becomes exceptionally demanding, often the problem lies in some far deeper insecurity or a fundamental flaw in the relationship – such as a lack of trust.
Learn to let go of your neediness, dependencies and unrealistic expectations. These factors contribute to a negative environment and eventually causes relationships to crumble.
The basis of all relationships should be built upon the principle of TRUST.
If you are unable to fully trust your partner, perhaps you need to take some time to get in touch with yourself and to assess if the problem for lack of trust lies in the actions of your partner or whether it originates from a deeper source within yourself.
If it is the latter, try to correct your insecurities by applying Steps 1 – 3. A fundamental lack of trust for others is likely to eventually lead to bigger problems in the long run.
Be fair to your partner and approach your relationship in a spirit of optimism, or you may deprive the both of you the joys of a healthy and rich relationship.
5) Take Decisive Action, Don’t be Discouraged by Rejection
Before you take action, make sure you’ve read Step 3 on self-worth. Self-confidence is a pre-requisite for effective action.
We’ve all been there. That feeling of nervousness and anticipation that numbs the senses and makes us weak to take action.
None but the brave may deserve the fair.
Realize that for good things to happen, you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone. Build up your confidence and then take action that will bring you closer to your dream.
6) Be Self-Sufficient Before Inviting Others In
If you devote your efforts to create a life that you genuinely love and feel comfortable in, prospective partners will be naturally attracted to you.
Build a reality that you’re proud to live in. Someone that believes in making the most of life everyday will also attract a partner of the similar goals, attitudes and mindset.
The secret to eliminating that sense of neediness and desperation is to first work towards being self-sufficient. When you’ve set the foundation right, the right people and influences will also start to stream in.
This is the very step that MOST people skip, which leads to desperation and low self-esteem. They become dependent, and clingy because they focus on what they don’t have.
When it comes to manifestation, focus is everything. Focus your thoughts and emotions to creating a life that’s flourishing with positive things. Embrace a spirit of optimism that will attract the right people into your life.
In order to take care of others, you need to first be self-sufficient.